The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
