Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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