Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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