So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
