is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize