Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
