You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I smell like Dick and happiness
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
