Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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