So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
