Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
