Pappa wants mamma naked
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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