Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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