I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Two words: blizzard sex
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
