Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
