He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We named our party play list daddy issues
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
