we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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