your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
