why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
