New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize