Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
