In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have aggressive nipples.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize