Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
