bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
