I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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