Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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