i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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