I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
