can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize