Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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