It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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