a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
