I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
