Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Did I show you my penis last night?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
