Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
