Already got asked if we're dating
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
