This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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