the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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