All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
