and you said cock pushups were impossible
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
