problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
