Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
