what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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