Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
