did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
