Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
