If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
