i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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