It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize