Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
