just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
