the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
