he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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