Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
