The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
