Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
