I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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